Is “Nice” in your Hiring Profile?

02 May 2013 Leave a Comment

by mlavoie8 in Uncategorized Tags:

ImageCall me crazy, you won’t be the first.  But I’ve attended dozens of management seminars over the years, joined countless professional groups, heard and read hundreds of inspirational books and quotes.

They all boil down to one thing:  be nice.

In a recent class on leadership, we were asked to describe our experience with toxic leaders.

Students wrote that “toxic leaders:”

  • Don’t make their expectations clear
  • Berate me in front of others
  • Tell me what to do
  • Take credit for my ideas
  • Blame….anyone and everyone

In short, after millions of dollars of research grants, book residuals, and even movie rights it all boils down to one thing.  Leaders, the kind you want to follow and want to help, are nice.

They care in ways large and small.  They know your wife/husband/partner’s name; they know where you went on vacation and ask about it.  AND they listen and may even watch the dreaded vacation slideshow.

Many people can force us to do things; but in my experience it’s the first meeting with a VP when I walk away thinking, “Wow, she was really nice” that makes all the difference.

We pay tens of thousands of dollars for a degree, we read books, we attend leadership seminars only to learn what we all should have learned as very young children.

Be nice to each other.

Disconnecting a Social Channel

26 Apr 2013 Leave a Comment

by mlavoie8 in Uncategorized

ImageI’ve become deluged with information, which shouldn’t come as a surprise since I work as a Community Manager.  However, Facebook has become a bit of a …..well……a compulsion.

During the past two weeks, I’ve learned things about family and friends (from FB) that I’d be better off not knowing.  Or, if I should know, it would be much more appropriate to have a conversation.

And, I don’t like cats.  Somehow my information stream was always peppered with cats, political news (which drives me crazy) and ads.  Not to mention the prevalence of seeing what folks are eating for dinner and the undeniable pull that all of this irrelevant information has on me. 

Add to that FB’s constant new page recommendations and advertising, and I’ve had it.  After several days’ thought, I have deactivated my FB page.

Goodbye FB.  For those of you who know me, IRL, you know where to find me.

The Tale of the Anti-Social Community Manager

20 Mar 2013 Leave a Comment

by mlavoie8 in Uncategorized

ImageI was just lovingly tagged with the title of “world’s only anti-social Community Manager”.  It came just after my third invitation to lunch; all three invitations coming exactly 1/2 hour after I ate lunch.

But that aside, by all measurements I am an introvert.  Meyers-Briggs, Social Styles I’ve done them all.  And, by all accounts, I am a strong introvert.  All that means is that when I’m around people, it drains my energy.

Contrast this with people who constantly surround themselves with other people, searching through rolodexes for someone to call (my son did this in the ’80s when he was a desperate teenager who just had to go out).  In the workplace, the extroverts are likely to meet after work, form #herds (you know who you are!), and spend as much time as possible in the company of others.

Me?  A warm bath, a song to chant, a book to read.  I’m set.

But don’t misunderstand;  I’m not anti-social either.  I just spend all my social energy on building communities that, by the way, don’t often require face to face communication but rather rely on the written word. Oh, that tires me too but I have to say that Community Management is one of the best jobs for introverts.

Strange, huh?

Why I’ll Never be Pope

18 Mar 2013 Leave a Comment

by mlavoie8 in Uncategorized Tags:

Well, aside from the obvious reasons, of course,

If I was voted upon to be Pope, to speak on behalf of God in this world filled with love and hatred, kindness and animosity, trust and fear, here are the things that I would immediately do:

  • Any allegation of a crime by a priest or employee of the church would be treated as such.  Police reports would be filed, investigations carried out, and sentencing by a trial of peers would occur.
  • I would welcome priests to find love in marriage, regardless of gender.  Loving a wife/husband and children does not diminish but expands our capacity to love.
  • I’d make church rock.  Oh, there could be hymns, but let’s make them engaging.  Let’s get people to move and to wholeheartedly get involved with worship.
  • Acceptance, not tolerance would be my mantra.  Something about casting the first stone belongs here……
  • Love others, as you love me.  Those are God’s words; see him in everyone you look upon, in everyone you look down upon, in those poor and downtrodden.  Love those who carry guns and those who oppose, those who love women and those who love men, those who have and those who do  no.

So, that’s why I’ll never be Pope.  Aside from the obvious reasons.

Thoughts on Working From Home

07 Mar 2013 2 Comments

by mlavoie8 in Uncategorized Tags:

ImageBy now, we’ve all heard about Yahoo’s decision to curtail working from home. I have to say that I  find this decision a bit difficult to believe given the ongoing globalization of the workforce.

In fact, the Yahoo memo from Human Resources points out that:

“Communication and collaboration will be important, so we need to be working side by side.  This is why it is critical that we are all present in our offices.”

In my work world, I communicate and collaborate with global colleagues on a daily basis.  Just yesterday, we had a team meeting with folks from Israel, Russia, Egypt, Ireland and a number of other countries.

If communication and collaboration is only possible by sitting ‘side-by-side’ then companies better start purchasing airlines to enable all of that business togetherness.

Do some folks take advantage of working from home?  Of course, we’d all have to say yes.  But the point is that our work is measured by what we do, by the results we produce, by the sh** we get done (GSD = Get Sh**Done).

Whether that work occurs sitting side by side,  or using some type of media, it’s the work result that should drive policy decisions.

I’m not buying Yahoo’s rationale, but think that something like this might have happened (pure supposition on my part).  Maybe some type of VPN study was conducted during working hours, and the work from home crew wasn’t as active as they should have been during working hours (not to say that they might work different and even more hours).

If that’s the case, raise the issue with those individuals.  

What’s your take?

 

Together we Can

07 Mar 2013 Leave a Comment

Together we Can

Image by mlavoie8

Attachment – Not for Everyone

28 Feb 2013 Leave a Comment

by mlavoie8 in Uncategorized Tags:

ImageI think about attachment a lot lately.  I am attached to things, to animals and to people.  And  no, I don’t know why people came last in that sentence.

The practice of meditation has a way of letting you see your attachments more clearly.  In my case, my attachment to physical things has diminished significantly during the past year.  In fact, I purchased a rather pricey souvenir from a recent trip to India and  broke it within two weeks.

In the past, there would have been a great deal of self-loathing, ugly self-talk, and maybe even tears.  This time?  A little super glue and I went on with my day.

I learned the best lesson in attachment from a colleague over dinner.  He was talking about how he was currently working on attachment as he felt it hindered his spiritual development.  He observed that “While I can’t disattach myself from my daughter because I love her so much, I CAN love every other child as if it was my own.”

In one sentence, a business executive shed light on one of my challenging life experiences.

That’s all it takes, sometimes.  One good conversation to last a lifetime.

Have you had one lately?

I Learned Everything I Need to Know About Global Interaction in the ’80s

13 Feb 2013 Leave a Comment

by mlavoie8 in Uncategorized Tags:

Back in the 1980s, before may of you were born, there was a high level of business interest in ‘social styles.’  Some of you may be familiar with the Meyers-Briggs indicator, but many other companies launched programs aimed at raising our awareness of our varied communication styles.

The message was always the same; your style is neither right nor wrong….we’re all just different.  From a training perspective, give any trainer worth their money four boxes and you’ll find that they will fill them with something!

Meyers-Briggs used:

  • Introvert/Extrovert
  • Sensing/Intuitive
  • Thinking/Feeling
  • Judgment/Perception

Other learning vendors leveraged Meyers-Briggs, and similar tools, to raise awareness that we each have a tendency to be predominantly stronger in or the other of the dimensions.  That, and that the dimensions are somewhat fluid based on our level of stress and other external factors.

Why is this important?  I’ve seen many training sessions offered on “How to do Business with (insert country name)” or “Working with (insert country here).”  I’ve completed two of those courses and have learned three things hold true, regardless of whom I’m working with:

  1. I need to be aware of my own style.  I tend to be direct, right to the point, and quick to make decisions.
  2. I need to be aware of others’ styles.  They may be indirect, need more information to make decisions, and deflect decisions due to status.
  3. I need to change accordingly.  Not that I can or would change my personality, but subtle adjustments in style are often called for.

These three fundamental ‘rules’ have guided both my professional and personal life.

For me, they mean S L O W I N G down, and allowing someone to complete a sentence before I jump in.  They mean providing additional context, information or resources before directly asking for participation or action. And sometimes, depending on others’ styles, they mean no change at all.

Image 

The key?  It begins with self awareness.

 

 

Watch your Language!

08 Feb 2013 Leave a Comment

by mlavoie8 in Uncategorized Tags:

I had a most wonderful opportunity to visit Bangalore, India recently.  I could tell you so many stories of the richness, diversity, and loving-kindness of those I met but instead let me tell you something that I learned about me (and maybe you).

I was delivering social media classes.  Before you’re compelled to note the irony in delivering social media classes face-to-face….I know, I know.  But some things just have to be done in person.

As the classes progressed, and I was on my 7th delivery of 8 scheduled classes, I began to notice the language that I was using.  By that time, my delivery had been mastered and I could begin to more deeply observe and reflect on my words.

What did I find?

Let me illustrate with some examples:

  • This will give you the ammunition you need to ……
  • I am arming you with all the information needed to…..
  • Have a blast!
  • Take a stab at it.

Notice anything, maybe a pattern of violence-based language?Image

I certainly did notice, and made a concerted effort to note my word choices an the unintentional impact they may have on others.  Although I don’t think the folks in India were particularly aware of it, or offended, that is not the way I want to present myself.

So give it a thought.  What do you say that might unintentionally be misunderstood or misconstrued?

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